


Old promises and unspoken rules

by 9liseraph6



Category: Inception (2010)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:35:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28131006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/9liseraph6/pseuds/9liseraph6
Summary: Thank you for reading this short story ! I've always wanted to write for Inception's characters Eames and Arthur and now it's finally done. I hope you enjoyed it !
Relationships: Arthur/Eames (Inception)
Kudos: 21





	Old promises and unspoken rules

For the second time this week, Arthur wakes up feeling like shit. Not that it is something that never happens, it does from time to time. Like for a lot of people on this planet, Arthur hasn't got the highest self esteem, sometimes he doubts himself and hates everything he does, thinking it is not right, or not as good as he imagined. But today is different, he knows the reason why he feels like a giant pile of shit. He had the nightmare again, the one of his late father, Christian. He's not surprised, it is often the case whenever he spends the night with his colleague, Eames. Arthur doesn't know how it happened exactly, but one night, the two of them had ended up sleeping together. Before that night, Arthur never really thought of Eames that way, as a potential lover. Of course, there had been quite a lot of flirting disguised as bantering between the two men now and then, but it never went beyond that, or so Arthur had been trying to convince himself. Even now, looking at the back of Eames's head, head that was laying on Arthur's bed pillow, he can't really think of him as anything else but a friend from work, if that. Thinking of that man as a friend is still a bit odd to Arthur, too. For as long as he can remember, they have always been more 'frenemies' than friends. Cobb used to call them that as a joke, but it seemed a right word to describe Arthur and Eames's relationship.  
Eames turns over, his eyes are close. He is still asleep, probably dreaming. Arthur struggles to keep his own eyes open, he cannot go back to sleep and risk having another nightmare. He stares at Eames's relaxed face and it helps calm his nerves a little. Why something as nice as whatever it is they are having should ever be frown upon? Arthur wishes he had the answer to that, because he can find no fault in the fact that the man next to him make him feel good during his loneliest nights. He is sure he will find some when the sun is up and Eames has to go, when shame will take his place and his father's words will haunt his troubled mind. But when Arthur's battle against sleep is lost and he opens his eyes again a couple of hours later, it is not to find an empty place next to him, but Eames smiling at him in a very tender, and rather unlike him way.  
"I know," Eames says when he sees the frown on Arthur's sleepy face. "I know what you're telling yourself right now."  
"You do?" Somehow Arthur doubts that. He sits up so he is at level with him.  
"We've always had this sort of unspoken rule, right?"  
"Right." Arthur is confused but he figures it is better to just keeps that for himself for now, he is curious to hear what Eames is going to say. He never really set rules for their relationship, and is quite surprised Eames has one he thinks both of them agreed to, unspoken or not. "Well, I just broke it... by not leaving. I didn't leave, I'm still here."  
"I noticed."  
"You don't seem to mind." Arthur doesn't know what to say to that. Does he mind Eames staying and breaking the stability they have created, though unconsciously on Arthur's part? His father's words are echoeing in his head as he starts thinking too hard about it. Eames is right, he should mind it. He should be mad, even. Eames is threatening to ruin everything. Arthur's mind is racing fast, he is trying to find the right words to make Eames leave without being too harsh. He can't lose him. But nothing must change. It cannot become more than it already is. They can't be more than what they already are. "You staying here in the morning doesn't mean anything. You overslept, it happens." When he gets no response, he can't help but go on, more sharply. "We're not suddenly going to become a couple because of that. It's nothing."  
He can see his words have hurt Eames's feelings but it is necessary. Both of them know he hasn't overslept, he decided to stay, he wanted that something, anything, results out of it. Arthur can't allow it. They have gone as far as they ever could. His guilt slowly disappears when he reminds himself how this whole conversation started, how it was Eames that brought up the subject in the first place. Everything is his fault, Arthur decides.  
"I guess I should go now... if I don't want to be late for work." Eames has no job as of now but Arthur pretends he doesn't know that. The situation is awkward enough as it is. He took a quick shower and gathered all his stuff while Arthur pretends to play on his phone, his mind always on his colleague but his eyes firmly set on the device in his hand. Eames wastes no more time on useless talk and goes to the door. He turns to Arthur before he opens it, as if he has forgotten to tell him something important. He hesitates a few seconds, before he only waves goodbye and makes to go. It oddly feels like a break up, and Arthur has to fight the urge to hold him back.

_"You do what you want with whoever you want, son, but don't let it get serious. Men aren't made for other men. Don't let your heart lead your head or you'll always end up suffering. Trust me. Have fun, but never get too close. And once you get bored of it, find yourself a good woman and marry her. I can't afford to have an abnormal son. You're the only one I got. Don't let me down. Promise me you won't be like that forever. Promise me this one thing before I leave this Earth, Art. Please."_

Eames closes the door after what feels like hours. Arthur is suffocating. He has never felt more alone than at this very moment. An unspoken rule and an old promise. Arthur takes comfort in the fact that neither have been broken.

Knock. Knock. Knock.  
No answer.  
Knock. Knock.  
The door opens to a half asleep Eames. His hair is all over the place, hiding a good portion of his face. His chest is bare and it looks like he hastily put on his shorts before answering the door, Arthur knows Eames likes to sleep naked. He quickly puts the thought away. They always meet once an Inception mission is done and Arthur has been waiting for Eames for hours in his room. If he had known Eames was sleeping, he wouldn't have come at all. He doesn't want it to look like he has been missing him. He hopes Eames doesn't take this as a desperate act on his part. It's not that Arthur needs to have sex tonight, or that he seeks Eames's company especially, but they always meet after a mission. And Eames has not showed up at the hour he usually does. Arthur notices the annoyed look on Eames's face and cringes inside. He wonders if it has anything to do with the way they parted the last time they slept together. That morning, it seemed like it was the most responsible thing to do for Arthur, but now he isn't so sure about that. Eames is looking at him in an expective way, waiting for him to state his business in being here so late into the night. When Arthur says nothing, Eames makes to close the door. Arthur blocks it, the door slapping shut on his ankle in the process. He bit his lip, determined not to shout in the corridor of a booked hotel in the middle of the night. Eames doesn't notice, or doesn't care.  
"I'm tired, Arthur. If it's not important, then I'm going back to sleep. I've got to be at the airport tomorrow before eight."  
"Another mission?" Arthur asks, quickly retreating his hurting foot.  
"Why do you want to know?"  
Arthur winces despite himself, his ankle hurt too much. He opens the door wider and comes in uninvited. He spots an armchair and sits on it. He takes off his shoe and sock to inspect his foot. Eames seems unbothered by Arthur's intrusion.  
"Hurts, doesn't it?" He closes the door after him and fetches ice from the minibar that he places into one of his shirt. Arthur thinks he sees the beginning of a smirk on his friend's face. "Here."  
Arthur snatched the cloth from his hands. "My anckles have always been very sensitive."  
"Oh, I know." Now Eames is smiling openly. They look at each other while Arthur put the ice-  
filled shirt around his hurt anckle. He wants to be mad at Eames for making fun of him but he can't bring himself to. Arthur feels like he deserves it. He takes this small injury for the sign that he should have stayed away.  
"Arthur." Eames is serious again. He sits on his bed, opposite him. "What are we doing?"  
Arthur is so surprised by the question he has to snort. What they are doing has always been obvious to him. They have occasional sex. Nothing more, nothing less. There is no label for them, no word that can describe their relationship, other than colleagues, or friends, with some benefits. And yet, as he thinks it, Arthur feels like he is lying to himself. He can't answer truthfully to Eames and he can't lie to him, either, or he'll lose what they have, lose Eames. His father's words resonate in his head, but before they can mess with his mind, he shuts them out.  
"What do you think we're doing?" Arthur doesn't trust himself to speak his mind at the moment.  
"I have no fucking idea."  
They laugh at that, nervous giggles that help break the tension a little. Arthur massages his anckle and spots a bruise slowly appearing on his white skin. He shows it to Eames who laughs again.  
"Did you have to shut the door that hard?"  
"How on Earth could've I known you'd block the door with your foot? It's on you, mate."  
Arthur throws the cloth across his face. It only makes Eames laugh all the harder. When he picks it up, the ice bits fall onto the bed. "Look what you've done, the sheets are all wet now."  
"Just a little. And it'll dry."  
"You're very annoying, you know. I was sleeping so well before you showed up."  
"You started it."  
When Eames stays silent, Arthur realises the weight of what he has just said. But Eames did start all of this, waking him in the middle of the night six months ago. Arthur had been sleeping well, too. Then, before he knew it, Eames was kissing him. It escalated so quickly it didn't seem so bad at the time. Then, it happened again. And again. And again...  
Eames smiles, but it's a sad smile. Arthur wonders if he feels guilty at all. "I started it. So, I suppose it's me who should end it."  
Arthur feels like his heart in his throat. It beats uncomfortably hard against his ribs. Soon, he starts feeling sick. He should have expected it, and he hates himself for hoping this thing Eames and him have could have lasted. Things got out of hand, they got too involved. Too close. He should have backed down when he had the chance because now it hurts so much it's like his heart is breaking. It's over. He lost Eames. His father had tried to warn him. Why didn't he listen?  
"You want me to help you get to your room or you'll be okay?"  
"I'll be okay." Arthur gets up awkwardly, his foot throbbing. He doesn't bother to hide the pain this time, he's done pretending. "Can I ask you a question?" Arthur doesn't wait for an answer. "Why did you come to my room that night?" This leaves Eames speechless. He doesn't seem to know the answer to that question, so Arthur asks another one. "Did you know you were going to kiss me or did it just... sort of happen?"  
"No, I just... knew I'd wanted to kiss you for a while..." Eames gets up to face Arthur, his sad smile never quite leaving his face. "But I didn't know for certain if you felt the same way."  
He gets dangerously close and Arthur feels the urge to punch him in the face. He doesn't, he can't. "You didn't know for certain," he repeated, anger palpable in his voice. "So what made you think you could come visit me in the night and turn my life around like this? You didn't even think about the concequences, did you? You didn't think about me at all, only what you wanted!"  
When Eames's smile finally completely leaves his face, Arthur takes it as a victory.  
"But you did want this, too, Art. Only you didn't have the balls to do something about it."  
"Your balls is what got us into this situation in the first place, so I wouldn't be so proud about it if I were you." He would punch him then, if it wasn't for his injury. The bad foot would be too much of a bother in a potential fight. Eames isn't the kind of guy to just take a punch. "This is on you. All this is. You caused it, Eames."

"Well, sorry for falling in love with you."

  
Arthur is about to retort but stops himself when his brain registers the words. He wants to say something but he seems to have forgotten how to speak. Eames looks at him in confusion. He doesn't realise the weight of his confession. Or maybe it isn't one. Maybe he always thought that was obvious.  
After a moment, Eames finally starts looking embarrassed. It gives Arthur some courage. "What are you saying?"  
"I thought it was obvious." Eames confirms quietly. "I don't usually sleep with someone multiple times if I don't intend it to become... more than just sex."  
"Hold on a minute..." Arthur's head is spinning. This is not what he needs to hear right now. It was never meant to end up being more than sex, to become so complicated between them, to let space for feelings to grow. It was supposed to be good and simple, and short-term. It should have ended months ago, Arthur realises. He let this happen. He allowed Eames to kiss him that first night. This is on him as much as it is on Eames.  
"I'm going to take you back to your room."  
"I'm sorry." And he is. Arthur wishes he could fix it but he can't. They went too far to go back. It's too late. It's over.  
"Sorry for what? Not loving me back?" That sad smile again. "You can't control these things. No matter how hard you try to convince yourself of the contrary."  
Arthur sighs. Eames doesn't understand. They stay like this for a while, looking at each other in a heavy silence, until Arthur's foot starts throbbing again. It takes it as the time to leave and does just that.

Once back in his room, Arthur regrets leaving like this. The pain keeps his thoughts from going too overboard but he still can't stop thinking about Eames nonetheless. He takes off his sock and examines his ankle more closely. It's going to be a nasty bruise but he can move his foot and walk again, so it's not all bad. Laying down on his bed, he reflects on his feelings for Eames and whether it is love or not. He knows every time they finished a mission he'd longed to spend the night with him. For the longest time he thought it was because of the euphoria he felt after a job well done, how going through a life risking job was what drawn him and Eames together. But he had never felt this way for anyone else on their team. He rolls on the side and berates himself for these thoughts. He wants to punch himself for letting his heart takes control over his mind like this. It has to stop. He can't take this. It is all Eames' fault, he forces himself to think then. But it sounds all wrong now. He says the words aloud, once, twice, twenty times. It doesn't help making him better, nor does it make it true. Ignoring the pain in his foot he gets off bed and starts for the door, resolute. But when his hand touches the handle, fear creeps in. He imagines his father is behind that door and he wants to hide under the bed, ashamed. It reminds him of the time his father caught him with one of his mother's magazines. They always featured topless men celebrities and Arthur found he was far more interested in them than the magazines his father hid under the mattress, the ones featuring naked women. The memory makes him feel sick. He remembers the disgust in his father's face when his eyes spotted the cover of the magazine Arthur's free hand was holding, the silent treatment he had given him for days on end after that, the worry in her mother's eyes everytime his father opened his mouth to speak, the pleading he had made Arthur a year after when he learnt he was dying. Guilt, anger and sadness grow inside of Arthur, then. He wants to scream, cry and hit something. He wants to make the pain in his foot go away, the ache of his heart disappear, ignore the heartbreak of his break up with Eames, but he can't. He sits back down on the bed and let the tears he's been holding fall silently. For the first time in his entire life, he allows himself to be angry with his father. Arthur tried to honor his promise, he really did. But as Eames told him, you can't control these things. It's not his fault the person he has ended up falling in love with happens to be him, Eames, a man. He tried so hard not to love him and he failed. The thing is it was always bound to fail, and deep down, Arthur always knew it. Admitting it to himself is not easy but it is also liberating. He feels better, lighter, and guilt leaves him. He's not to blame for all this, this is just the way he was born and there is nothing he can do to change it. He thinks back on the night Eames knocked on his door for the first time. When Arthur opened, Eames's face was full of doubts but also determined. He came to his room decided to make the first step, and Arthur knew it right away. He remembers when Eames's hand held his neck, so tenderly. Arthur knew the kiss was coming, he knew it and wanted it, too. He met him half way for the kiss, he remembers suddenly.

Knock knock knock knock.  
The knocks are sudden and heavy. Arthur has to compose himself before getting up again. His foot hurt at every step but not as much as before. It's late and he knows it can only be Eames. He takes a deep breath and opens the door, dreading the outcome. He sees Eames dressed and smelling of shampoo. His eyes meet Arthur's and he feels like he has gone back in the past, as if the universe decided he deserved a second chance.  
"I'm not here to tell you I love you again or to ask you to give me another chance, or any of the sort," Arthur never saw Eames so nervous. "I'm here because I want you to know that I'm not sorry for what I did. Do you know why?"  
"No."  
"Because I had the best times of my life with you, at work and in here," he points to Arthur's bed. "Of course I wish I was spared the heartbreak," he smiled. "but in the end I'm grateful I got to be with you like this, even if it's just for a little while." His voice breaks a little at that and Arthur wishes he would stop talking. "I just needed to get it off my chest. Tell you everything so I have no regrets. Life's too short for regrets. For all we know we could be dead tomorrow." Arthur takes the time to take all this in. Once that's done, he clears his throat and finally speaks.  
"Where are you going?"  
"What?"  
"You took a shower, got dressed..."  
"Oh." Eames chuckles. He seems taken aback by the sudden change of subjects, and amused, too. "Typical Arthur. I open my heart to you and your mind is somewhere else. You do know how to make me feel like an idiot." Arthur fears he may have offended him but his tone is light and his smile is still stuck on his face. "I'm going to the airport. There's no way I can go back to sleep now, might as well be on my way so I don't miss my flight."  
"I can't sleep, either, actually." Arthur puts on his shoes and coat. Eames watches him in silence, confused. "I'll drive you there. My flight's early, too, anyway."  
"Your flight? To where?"  
"To wherever you're going." Eames stares at him, visibly thinking he must be joking. Arthur takes his hand in his, feeling more confident than he felt in years. He left all his stuff in the room, but since all he brought are clothes, he doesn't really mind.  
"Arthur, wait." Eames beckons him closer, his eyes searching his face. "What are you doing? What is this?"  
"This? This is me being done with feeling guilty to be happy. And I'm very happy when I'm with you." For a mad moment, Arthur thought Eames was going to kiss him, but he doesn't. He looks like he still can't believe what he's hearing. To help make things clearer for Eames, Arthur puts a hand around his neck, looks him in the eye, trying to communicate all the love he feels for him, and kisses him more passionately than he's done during their nights together. Eames quickly reciprocates and for the first time, Arthur knows that tomorrow when he wakes up, he will not feel like shit.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this short story ! I've always wanted to write for Inception's characters Eames and Arthur and now it's finally done. I hope you enjoyed it !


End file.
